Why I doubt the F1 will succeed in Singapura

Yes, F1 fans. Time for me to piss you off again. But this time, I’ll be nice. I promise. Again, I know nothing about F1, but Foxtrot told me that Singapura is going to have a street track like in Monaco. I immediately had doubts over how successful it will be (even though it’s the 2nd time). Below, I give my reasons why I doubt it will succeed.

1. The drivers will need to get cashcards to enter the restricted zones.

2. The team will have to stock up on parking coupons whenever their drivers come into the pitstop.

3. The speed limit, cameras and cops will kill the game.

4. They’ll get fined for driving and drinking. (get it?)

Impostor Prime

After having lunch with Foxtrot today, we did our mandatory shopping centre walk to drool over Transformer models. I still had time to kill (what with my boss still being in Australia until the end of the year) and decided to visit other shops.

Although I bumped into two hottt Malaysian megastars (don’t worry guys, I bet you don’t know them) who are fantastic MILFs by the way, I didn’t have the courage to ask for a pic, so I just walked on and into a 99sen shop (which almost always sells stuff for more than 99sen) and lo and behold… what did I find?

Forged Transformers!

Now, the others didn’t really catch my eye, but the one above (sorry, but all I had was my crappy 0.1MP camera phone), which I shall christen Impostor Prime was amazing. It’s about the size of the almost-alternator line OP, and was forged to look the same. The amazing thing is that this IP has been slightly redesigned to look like OP, but the transformation is different. How to describe? Must see yourself wan.

The box art, too is original. Someone actually took the pains to redraw the box art and loving recolour from the original in ink and acrylic. Wow! Now I know what happens to engineering and design students when they dropout or become jobless.

They design crappy toys.

Whiskercucucicitdatuknenekengkau! (That was the sound of Optimus Prime transforming, or didn’t you know)

When we gonna get ads for this page huh?

Hey, Fox and Tang! I just checked my Nuffnang balance and I earned RM7.20 in 2 weeks! I can now afford a pair of brand new underwear. That’s RM14.40 a month! That’s RM187.20 a year! Holy shit! At this rate, I’ll become a millionaire in 5342 years’ time! For doing absolutely nothing!

So, when are we gonna add some ads on this blog? Hehehehe… Split the earnings three ways, I’ll get RM1.20 a week. Add that to my current blog’s income… and…. wow!!! I’ll be millionairing so much earlier!

Wakakakakakakaka whiskers!!!!

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Singapurans

Sorry for the long absence, guys. It’s the end of the year and many companies are dumping their budgets into anything they can spend on, and training seems to be the favourite. I was running documentation workshops back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back… and phew, am I tired. The closing workshop was in Singapura last week just before Eid and for the first time, being there for business and not family visiting, it dawned on me that Singapurans are weird people.

I actually composed the latter half of this post on my phone as I was travelling to my client’s place via MRT. Thus, to commemorate my return from the land of fake lions, I present to you, the 10 Things You (Malaysians, that is) Didn’t Know About Singapurans!

1. They will line up around the block for a free newspaper, even if it means they’ll be late for work. (It’s not a cake forgoonessake!)

2. They can’t pronounce Genting properly (Jen-Ting)

3. Their stray cats have mostly been neutered and have one ear clipped to tag them (I wonder if Singapuran men who undergo vasectomies also have their ears clipped?)

4. When they speak of Malaysia, they usually mean Johor Bahru (”Perak? Where’s that?)

5. They think Malaysians can’t speak English.

6. S$200 for season parking is considered cheap.

7. They hate Phua Chu Kang (bit too close to home, I guess).

8. Many of their flats are larger than Malaysian condos.

9. They didn’t even vote for their own candidate, but he became the 1st Asian Idol anyway.

10. Their drivers actually stop at zebra crossings.

and a last one… just for the road…

11. They have no flies.

Majulahhhhh Whiskerspuraaaaa…

Humming a song I don’t know the words to

I’m walking down the street
Humming a song
A song I don’t know the words to

When people stop to hear
I sing the song
The song I don’t have the words to

I sing the words
The word that weren’t there before
In the song I don’t have the words to

The people applaud my song
And hear the words
And think it means what it means to me

But only they know what it means
Because I sang the song with words
The words which mean nothing to me
In the song I don’t know the words to

And I walk down the street again
Humming the song again
When the people don’t hear me
The song I don’t know the words to

Whiskers
Petaling Jaya
2/6/2007
11.30am

How I know I still have an ego…

Sometimes, one needs to be reminded of one’s own importance in this world. And sometimes, when no one wants to help with that, we take it into our own hands. Here are 10 things I do that prove I still have an ego, and that I am important to me.

1. I call up Mix FM just to be able to hear my own voice on the radio.

2. I call my wife’s handphone just to see my name appear on her screen.

3. I wink at myself in the mirror.

4. I beam at the name printed on my cheque book.

5. I marvel at my name card and my job title.

6. I download other people’s scanned certificates online and replace my name with theirs using Photoshop, then print them out and pin them to my partition.

7. I pin every Hari Raya card I got this year and last year to my partition, even those not from professional contacts.

8. I practise my signature on recycled paper.

9. I laugh at my own jokes.

10. I have 5 blogs and everytime I update one, I ask a friend, “Did you read it? What do you think?”

Upper crust whiskers.

Road to millions

Yahooooo!!! My journey to becoming an internet millionaire has begun! A capitalist advertiser has deigned to place an ad on my blog, via Nuffnang, a local banner advertiser. To date, I have made USD50++ on Adsense (over one whole year!) and now… well, currently, nothing yet on Nuffnang, but hey, I don’t have to do any work! Except maybe update my blog once in awhile…

Eat your heart out wage earners. I can now afford a nasi lemak a day more than you. Bah.

Stiff whiskers.