Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Friday, 18 September 2009
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint.
A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.
Whiskers needs baju raya.
Monday, 14 September 2009
DEA officer stops at a ranch in South Texas, and talks with an old rancher mending a fence.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.
"The old Rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there", as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government behind me.
"He reaches into his back pants pocket, removes his badge and proudly flashes it at the old Rancher.
"Do you see this badge? It means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... on any one's land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life ... chased close behind by the rancher's 1,500 pound prize bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get "Horned" before he reaches safety.
The officer is clearly terrified. The Rancher drops his fence tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, your badge. Show him your damn BADGE !"
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."