Tuesday, 5 February 2008

Name your ideal superpower and why

Okay, I’ll start the ball rolling.

I wish I had the ability of Deflurevertodomuportation. It is defined as the “ability to teleport casually discarded rubbish into the homes or cars of those people who threw it. It is closely related to Deflurevertogastroportation, the ability to teleport faeces back into the intestines which originated it”.

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Tujuh lamur

In reference to one of my earliest posts in this blog, I hereby declare myself a phone addict. Late last night, I noticed something strange with my darling phone. I couldn’t scroll up nor down, and the cancel button wasn’t cancelling. My eyes started welling up… would this be the end of a beautiful relationship?

NO!!!! I won’t let you go that easily!!! We won’t go down without a fight! You just hang on, baby!!!

“Boss, I have an emergency. I’ll be coming in late today… yes, it’s family related… no, not my wife… yes, the baby’s okay… I really gotta go… … … ok … ok …, okay, I’ll take time off, then… I understand… yes, yes, responsibility… yes… (^$*$%#&$%*(&)*%(&^_(!!!!!)”


At the Samsung Service Centre

“Open up!!!!”

“(Bangla accent)… Surr, we yopen at 9 o clock only. Now is only 7″

“I don’t care!!! Open this dog damend door!!!”

Surr, staip awey from da door, or I will shute you”

“Open uppppppp!!!”


bleed bleed bleed

“(Chinese accent) Sir, are you okay?”

“Forget about me, save my darling… take herrrr… ughhhhhhhh…”

“(Electronic accent) whiskersssssssssss”

The fat cat sings

Friday, 4 January 2008

Top Ten Thoughts for 2007

I got this in the mail today, and it is so hilarious, it deserves to be presented as a WTF?! post. Enjoy!

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’tbother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky … not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shovethem down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut save you $0.30?

Number 2
In the ’60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven’t got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

And the BONUS thought fortoday

‘Life is like a jar of jalapeƱos . What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow’. (Can you feel the burn CSL?)

Whiskers scanning for CCTV

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

Keep safe

Being a journalist for almost 11 years (yup, still have my press tag renewed every year), it’s difficult not to smell a story that interests me. But I also missed having a loaded camera in my hand, ready to capture life as it passes us by. Then, my mom bought me my first ever camera phone, and suddenly I was taking pics all over. Not very good quality ones, but opportune ones nonetheless.

One type of pics I love are accident pics, so you can guess how much I almost get into one every time I take them on the fly. Here are some I’ll share with you guys. So do yourself a favour. Keep both on hands on the wheel, both eyes on the road, keep your ego in check and your brain in drive.

I wouldn’t want to find out that one of the the cars in the photos I’ll take in the future will be yours.





Crash Whiskers


Mothers are a phenomenon not many appreciate. On this finite world of ours, Allah has granted a part of His Grace and Mercy in the form of the woman we call Mak, or Ibu or Mother or Mummy.

Relationships with them are not measured in efficiency, nor gains, as in business, nor harmony, nor partnership as in marriage, but simply, by dedication.

Love being the universal bond of mankind, exhibits itself best in the mother-child bond. What can a father share when it is the mother who has conceived, carried and endured the birth of the child, who has shared the body of a woman it was meant to outgrow; being in reality a part of her that was passed out to gain its own individuality?

Why are we so blind to the sacrifices made by our mothers to care for us, to make us human and not a walking, talking rat in the race of life? What horrors of the world do our mothers go through, in order to protect us from those selfsame tragedies?

None of us will ever know, unless we too become a mother.

Men, are clearly the losers in this regard. If they knew the rewards for the pain endured by mothers in the hereafter, they certainly wouldn’t think twice before accepting any offer to be just that.

Twitching whiskers for Mummy and Sayang.

Death of a politican

At last! An honest politician! Blogs are abuzz with the latest revelation from someone I deem to be the bravest Malaysian politician ever. Eat your heart out Oppositions!

Now, we all expect the rest of his colleagues to follow in his footsteps, because he, unlike an American prez not too long ago, actually came clean almost immediately. So, let’s pray that in 2008, we see headlines like the such:

“Yes, I did blow her up”

“Yes, I pregged that 15-year old”

“Yes, I am a backdoorsman”

“Yes, I bought that jet”


“Yes, that ugly child is of my seed”

Now, since jokes are flying ever since the news broke, allow me to add one more.

Considering we’re a secular country according to some opposing E D yets, the moral issues of this reveleation should be pretty difficult to debate, due to a lack of standards. So, I’ll just focus on the health-related one:


Whiskers Spielberg