The roving eyes of a man

I have a secret, and my wife knows what it is.

I love to look at other women. I’m a bad, bad man.

(Hey, you… yeah, you, that guy over there. What are you looking at, with that disapproving face? I know your secret too)

I’ve always thought that if it wasn’t sacrilegous to think of it, women would make good deities. I mean, they’re all-hearing, all-observant, all-seeing, all-remembering, and all-knowing. The only thing that makes them imperfect, is because they choose to marry mortal men, thus disqualifying them forever from godhood.

A man’s imperfection is, however, the fact that we are men. And we love women.

I keep telling my wife, that the only reason I look at women is because I’m naturally attracted to them. If I didn’t have this instinct, we wouldn’t be married in the first place, and little Whiskers wouldn’t be gestating within her right now (I have nothing left to prove now).

So, looking at pretty girls is just my way of keeping that instinct sharp, to keep loving her. Yes, I know women have a hard time understanding this logic, but really, we don’t understand your logic either (”Why are you crying now?” “That dress… waaaa… it’s… it’s… it’s blue!!!” “WTF???!!!”).

Well, now that the rationale is out of the way, let’s run down the list of the pretty women that make up my daily routine of eyewashing. Granted, I don’t know most of their names, but, do we really need to know them? (The moment you ask for a name, you better be prepared to go all the way. Besides, I have quite a few reasons to NOT take a 2nd, 3rd nor 4th wife. See here)

Here they are, in the order they appear during my day:

1. My wife.

2. The cute girl in the Kancil/ Getz/ Myvi/ Viva on the way to work on Jalan Sentul.

3. The cute girl in the green baju kurung waiting for a bus along Jalan Sentul.

4. The sexy woman in the Waja/ Wira/ Aveo along Jalan Travers.

5. The amazingly coiffed young thing crossing my path in Jalan 52/1 as I’m about to climb the stairs to my office.

6. The MBPJ aerobic twins (twins!!!) who go for lunch every Wednesday around Section 52.

7. The cute MBPJ officer having lunch at Haja’s Nasi Kandar.

8. Every single shampoo and facial and armpit whitening model on television.

9. My wife.

The difference between all of them and my wife? With them, there’s only one way admiration, but with my sayang?

The admiration is actually mutual. I’m appreciated. And that’s what makes my day and my life complete.

Rejoice model notwithstanding.

Whiskers purrs.