Monday 3 December 2007

Will your grandchild have ‘Nigerian’ on his IC?

Several Malaysians I’ve met automatically hear the word ’scam’ whenever I say the word ‘Nigerian’. It’s bad enough that the country is the most well known producer of fraud, but the fact is quite a few Nigerians are actually nice people.

I speak from experience myself, coming from the International Islamic University Malaysia. I had several friends there from Nigeria, whom I had the honour of eating, sleeping, praying and studying with. These are the people I would trust my life with.

Among them, Tijani was my best Nigerian mate. He’d saved enough to take him out of the country just so he could come to Malaysia to study. He spoke perfect English and Arabic and was studying Bahasa Melayu, so he could get a job here, just in case.

Outside of the nurturing walls of my university, I found that Nigerians was a dirty word, especially to those scameaters who regularly bait fraudsters. It didn’t matter where they were from. As long as they were black, and they had bad intentions, they were Nigerians.

Why my preceding story about Tijani? I had to make sure you understood the context of what I am about to write. Tonight, my wife and I were dining at Pizza Hut, in Mutiara Damansara, I noticed her watching a scene over my shoulder. So, I turned.

There he was, this huge black man in a green T-shirt, handphone in hand, chatting up a couple of Indian girls. I don’t know what skills he had, but the girls went from being suspicious to actually laughing at his jokes, to giving him their phone numbers. I know it was theirs, because he call-tested just to make sure. Innocent scene? I’m just being paranoid? Maybe, but this isn’t the first time I’ve seen it happen.

At cybercafes, busstops, LRT stations. Everywhere. These tall, dark casanovas are making a move on our women, and they actually have the tongue and equipment to do it! Go watch something if you don’t know what I mean.

Now, am I worried for our women? Yes. Why? Because I’m a mysoginist. But at the same time, I’m also worried for our men. True, the female population is rising. But remember this, they now have more options, what with all the Shah Rukh Khan and Denzel lookalikes running around (okay, maybe not as good looking).

But the point is this. Wake up Malaysian men! Enough of being metrosexual already! Fight for what’s your right! Pick up that club and let’s go drag some hair!

Seriously? You guys are on the verge of extinction. Bah!

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